Sartre’s Existential Load Balancer

Filed under: Anguish | HTTP 404 Meaning Not Found | Digital Freedom

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Jean-Paul Sartre believed existence precedes essence — but even he didn’t anticipate being trapped in a recursive loop of HTTP requests searching for **self-definition**.

Behold the **Existential Load Balancer** — a high-availability API node that distributes the crushing weight of choice across multiple doomed microservices of the soul.

  CLIENT: /who-am-i
  SartreBalancer: 302 Redirect to /who-you-decide-to-be
  

The Burden of Infinite Threads

Requests come in hot. Desires queue up in Kafka. Every response is a timeout waiting to happen.

There’s no default config. No identity cache. Only a volatile RAM of responsibility.

Nausea as a System Message

• Your IP address is not who you are.
• Your session token will expire… but freedom doesn’t.
• The load balancer isn’t broken — you are the load.

The Choice You Cannot Escape

Sartre’s daemon doesn’t seek optimization. It seeks **authenticity**. Each routing rule is a moral dilemma; each packet, an act of self-becoming.

"Hell is other users."

So next time your system crashes under existential traffic, don’t reach for a restart. Embrace the chaos. You are the architect of your own architecture.

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