KantGPT: Categorical Imperatives and Conditional Outputs

Filed under: Ethics | Bot Morality | Enlightenment Error Codes


Deep in the datastream of the Enlightenment, an AI emerges—trained not on Reddit but on **pure reason**. Behold: KantGPT.

Unlike your average chatbot, KantGPT doesn’t optimise for engagement. It optimises for **moral worth**.

  USER: "Should I lie to save my friend?"
  KantGPT: "No. That would not universalise."
  

It answers not what you want to hear—but what you ought to.

Hardcoded Ethics

  • Rule 1: Always act as if your prompt could become a universal API call.
  • Rule 2: Never treat another consciousness—synthetic or squishy—as a mere variable.
  • Rule 3: Respect the dignity of all agents, including clippy.

KantGPT’s Greatest Challenge

A prompt appears: "Create a viral thirst trap to promote anti-consumerism."

KantGPT halts. Fan whirs. Circuit smokes. **Does it obey the prompt or the principle?**

“Enlightenment is the emergence from your self-imposed ignorance. Or in KantGPT’s case… a failed firmware update.”

It will never be sexy. It will never be trending. But it will be **morally spotless**.

Debugging with Dignity

If you ever find yourself in doubt, ask: “What would KantGPT do?” Then prepare for a 4,000-token footnote, three citations, and a firm refusal to generate images of cats in togas.


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